Wild Weeds

      Ever since I can remember there has been a steady flow of pop songs which get released for public consumption and many are annoying. Some are annoying because they're just plain stupid. Others are annoying because they are melodramatic, pretentious, or overly gradiose. There's really no end to the ways that a song can be annoying and there are even a few songs which are good because they are intentionally annoying, but we won't get into that side topic in this short rant. Instead the focus here will be on the value of parody as a form of social commentary. Annoying songs should be parodied since they deserve a bit of ridicule. Which gets us to constipation and the song targeted here. To say that the original song is melodramatic would be an understatement. The cheap theatrics, exaggerated emotions, and the oh so serious mood set by the music all add up to crappy melodrama and the necessity of an appropriately disrespectful parody!


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She has not taken a crap for too long
She's looking kinda bloated
Her colon's overloaded
She's cramping cuz the pressure's too strong
She tried a stick of butter
It made her anal sphincter flutter

Oh, there isn't much more that she can take
I hope it's not too late!

She's tried all sorts of remedies
But she can't go
No, she can't go
She might resort to surgery
Cuz she can't go
No, she can't go

The prune juice just wasn't enough
And wheat bran's overrated
When you're constipated
And though laxatives can be kinda rough
She needs something stronger
Or she won't last too much longer

Oh, there isn't one thing left she can take
I hope it's not too late!

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