Wild Weeds
Fart Goggles

      Whether you call it gas, flatulence, or hot air, there is one thing that is always true: FARTS STINK! Although occasionally you may encounter someone who is actually proud of their farts, most people are embarrassed when the involuntarily pass gas. In fact, often people will even pretend that it was someone else who emitted the noxious fumes by asking, "Who farted?" when it was actually they who farted. Such deceitful behavior cannot be tolerated and it is for this reason that Fart Goggles have been invented. Indeed, they will allow you to be able to "know who to trust and know who lies" as stated in the song. They come with a camera which will record the evidence and hold those who have offended your sense of smell (and decency) accountable for their rude and unacceptable behavior. But, be forewarned, others will also be armed with Fart Goggles and will vigilantly be attempting to record your farts too. Hopefully the result of all this fart-watching will be a world free of offensive odors!


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Some see the dead and some see ghosts
Some see messages on their toast
Their ain't none of that round these parts
But with these goggles I see farts

Invisible gas is visualized
Know who to trust and know who lies
The fumes appear right before your eyes like a cloud...

The camera saves all the evidence
Against the truth there is no defense
Catch them in the middle of the act
And show all the world the embarrassing fact

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