Wild Weeds
Fat Santa

      This silly song could be viewed as a parody of the cautionary tales children are sometimes told to encourage them to avoid certain forms of bad behavior. On the other hand, it could be seen as a melodramatic and politically incorrect tirade concerning the dangers of morbid obesity. However, it's probably more reasonable to look at this song, considering its sad ending, as a spoof aimed at traditional Christmas songs which are always so happy, uplifting, and gleeful. It's true that many people find the music that gets played around the winter holidays to be quite annoying and sometimes even depressing. To lift the spirits of the grinches out there, a little holiday levity seems in order. So, sit back and enjoy this tune about the Christmas that had to be cancelled because Santa Claus was too damn fat!


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His appetite would be his great undoing
Santa, you see, was way too fat!
Jolly and cheerful, but always chewing
He ate way too much to be exact!
The reindeer insisted he take some weight off
But Santa continued to grow more fat
Sadly the reindeer could only stumble
Santa weighed too much and that was that
So Christmas that year had to be cancelled
All because Santa was too damn fat!

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