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Going Tubeless

      People who hate kids and the art projects that kids make at school are in favor of tubeless toilet paper. The amazing variety of creative art projects which depend upon toilet paper tubes as their main component is both impressive and astounding, and without toilet paper tubes their creation would no longer be possible. It seems to be the case that it's mostly environmentalists who are in favor of eliminating the tube from toilet paper and it's no mere coincidence that it is this same group of people who are in favor of lowering the birth rate and so it's quite reasonable to conclude therefore that environmentalists hate children. So, show that you care about kids and only purchase toilet paper that includes a tube in every roll and then donate the tubes to your local school so that kids can continue to enjoy wonderful art projects that involve toilet paper tubes!




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Lyrics:

There are some things that should not change
New fangled ways can be so strange
I don't think I like the latest caper
Involving tubeless toilet paper

It ain't right to remove the tube
It's plain wrong like a round ice cube
You need something to wrap the paper 'round
Er else ya wind up with the paper on the ground

A tube is needed in every roll
Without the tube you lose controll
Such a brainless move, give me a break
Going tubeless is a big mistake


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